i must go

The same window ledge i photographed a year ago. a bit more than a year ago, when i had just turned fourteen. I didn't particularly like that age.. it was all about discovering and taking off more layers to see what was beneath. Now that i'm older, wiser, i feel it. I feel the difference, unlike the other years where a new year meant i could say i was a year older. This time i feel maturer. I feel that my life has changed radically. i tell myself that it has, perhaps it hasn't changed that much. I mean i come home regularly and i have a loving family and my bed is always there waiting for me to embrace it. It always has been.

I must appreciate what life gives me. I must be graceful, positive and creative. Creation can vary in so many ways. I often sense eagerness to the point where it becomes bitter and overwhelming. The need and desire to discover and to capture is less strong than it used to be, but it will always be there. Some feelings are always there when you need them and fade away ever so slightly when you're far, far away from them. I was telling my mother about how i didn't want knowledge to exceed imagination, i dont want to write analytically the way we're taught to write. I want to write in a soft smooth yet intriguing way. Soft tasty fried yet tasted like boiled tomatoes, salty and beautifully sweet at the same time. I love food. I hate irony, loud talk, provoking modesty rather than humble subtleness...

Discipline is important, discipline with yourself is very important. Knowing yourself and treating yourself well is important. But we should never forget to share, to live with others, to appreciate and enjoy other people's company.